The invitation to spend the 1st of August, the Swiss National Anniversary, together with fellow countrymen and some 500 ambassadors from countries such as Australia and Zimbabwe in the Swiss Embassy did honour me, but it did not suit me – because I figured I would have to wear one.

However, because I was promised Swiss food and Swiss language, I thought I could risk it anyway and went together with Michi Müller, my friend and host in Kuala Lumpur. We were allowed to enter the embassy (and therefore Swiss soil!) with my car. This was quite cool: the Mercedes of the Ambassador of Turkmenistan or something similar which had followed us around the last three corners, was politely denied to park on Swiss ground (I assume from now on we will need a special visa to visit Turkmenibasha’s country…).
After greeting Mr. Jud, the Head of Chancellery (HoC), and his wife, we entered the nicely decorated garden of the residence. Well, nicely decorated it was, big enough, too, but somehow I did not get that “I am James Bond”-feeling I had when I was having lunch with the Swiss Ambassador in his residence in Santiago de Chile (however, future world travellers can rest at ease – they are about to renovate the KL Embassy!).

The Ambassador’s speech was short. Very short. I did not even have time to take a picture. Later I found out that this was due to protocol – the Malaysian Kingdom had some clear ideas about just how much was enough. Not much. Basically no word about Switzerland, 10 words about the Malaysian King (this guy changes all 5 years anyway) and then the following 4 words: “The buffet is open.” I cannot believe that the French could be as short on their “Quatorze Juillet”!

Then we had dinner – and the food was great indeed (no pig though, the Malaysian protocol is strictly against)! The small talk with most of the other guests was most boring, but that seems to be the case at diplomatic events all around the world (I only can speak for Prague and Kuala Lumpur). However, I had some beers with Michi and it was fun to catch up about our student times and what our mutual friends were doing. Later when most of the guests had left (the invitation clearly said “from 6:30 to 8:30PM”, so that guests could leave early without loosing face) I enjoyed talking with HoC Mr. Jud over a glass of wine or two – finally a rather straight talking diplomat (will he ever become Ambassador?). He described the situation in Malaysia to the point: Malaysia is more and more turning towards the Islam. Women have to wear head-scarves (in certain places there are even fines if they don’t) and in every school class there has to be at least a certain percentage of Muslims being part of class. Also, they don’t like crosses – and I am carrying a rather big Swiss one on the back window of my Land-Cruiser. I must buy a Buddha, Dschingis Khan and Mohamed (or whatever they worship) and hang it onto my back mirror to prevent the worst.
Michi and I left as the last ones (well, that clearly is an indicator that we had fun!) and we even talked with Dr. Stemmler, the Swiss Ambassador (who by now had gotten rid of his jacket and had put up his sleeves – this indicated that the last Malaysian observer must had left the grounds…)
We then made a smart move to the Kuala Lumpur’s least repudiated club. There we waited without success for more Swiss men to turn up and started to tell girls “I have run over 5 chickens with my car today” just to get the answer “Yes, yes, velly good!”.

This is what happens if there is no firework on the 1st of August.